HaHaHAAAAAAAA!!!!

new, labor government!
old nasty cruel ruined desperate harmful government with THAT MAN (who may be a wonderful parent, but he wasn't hired for that) GONE!!!!!!!
might be able to respect my government for awhile - -GASP-!
..........................serene...................
-*a
ps yes, whatever, i know none will be perfect, but i don't care, just as long as the one which has caused me and so many so much pain is gone, with their horrible words that they made me hear over and over again.
*

me and another

Taking advantage of the FEW people who check blogs anymore (facebook is fun, but it is no excuse not to check blogs!!!...although i hadn't checked several for some time before a few minutes ago) i will post about...
relationships.
go on, swap blogs now, this is probably EXACTLY the sort of blog you would rather avoid, yes, i am talking boy-girl relationships which are not limited to friendship.

sigh.

i said i was taking advantage of the ppl who still check, sorry people, it's not your fault, it's just the odd mood i am in, as a result of the chocolate i just finished, the assignment i haven't finished, and the french pop i am listening to.

i just want to express something.
nothing terribly remarkable, and i will take EVERY precaution possible to edit out mush.

first, i must say, they take work like you never see in disney movies. they take real work and sacrifice and ...giving up of things. i know you know this, but this is me expressing, not educating. but i just find it odd that in a relationship of this category i have to confront so many things about myself i somehow never came across in my other relationships.
or perhaps, not to this degree. some things about myself (selfishness, manipulation, self-righteousness, grudging, vengefulness) have shown themselves to a degree, esp when i was little, and no doubt some of my friends have some idea of them.

but i am older now and spend much less time with my family than i did when i was 10, and now it is surprising to come face-to-face with yourself, or yourself reflected in someone else's eyes.
not that tom tells me things about myself the whole time, along with my other brothers in Christ he supports me and rebukes me, but it's when i see the results of my less godly actions, that confrontation of self and selfishness happen. my friends see my actions, but i think we make more of an effort with friends than people that are around the way a boyfriend might be. and what is more, a friend will not have quite the same reactions a...(insert appropriate noun here) might - if i'm being stupid and unkind, friends will see, be sad, but live on. tom of course will live on, but i could hurt him in a way that hurts me very much.

there is no requisite here to make sense.

another thing that is making its impression in my head is how emotions are made into idols in the world, in relationships, and yet so often they are what needs to be cast off. i am so often subject to wanting to be angry, wanting to be all...clingy, and in my head it makes sense, i can perfectly reason it out, but i know it to be selfishness, not allowing into my heart the knowledge that being right or being angry does not mean you have the solution, or deserve to be obeyed, and that feeling clingy doesn't mean you own someone, that you have God, who is yours, and you are His, and anyone else is not yours, and you cannot make them so.

don't freak out, i'm not talking about stuff i need to work through with tom, i'm just thinking electronically.

in short, the world doesn't have a clue what love looks like. the ultimate expression of love was someone DYING and giving, not someone recieving chocolate, jewellery, or having someone else follow them around doing whatever they say.

and it can be hard when the world TRAINS you to act how it wants you to. TRAINS you to try and take whatever you can, and not let go, except to take more.

yeah. one thing i am learning is to give up what i want for a person, for what they want. it's easier with Jesus (though not 'easy' in itself) because He is perfect and i can trust Him...mostly, and i know that He has a plan which is perfect, and He is in control. but giving up things for another, imperfect person, who might not deserve it, who might not be stunning like in the movies, who might be as real and flawed and annoying as me, who is as lost as me?
dude. not easy.
but an important step is, to paraphrase tom (who i'm pretty sure was paraphrasing God) to remember that we are all sinful, and are all forgiven before God.
deep, man. deep.
xa