My mother thinks i'm odd. It seemed reason enough to blog.

Ok, i saw two films
SUPERMAN RETURNS
ok, i won't tell you how it ends...hmmm...i'd really like to ruin it tho. ill keep you posted, if i'm going to be evil i'll give due warning.
ok, the film is set 5 yrs AFTER the whole legend superman thing, which FYI i wasn't exactly au fait nor au courant with (don't worry, a french person reading that would say it was tautology anyway :P). Ok, superman boggered uff for about five years, and comes back to find people have changed, his girlfriend's not his girlfriend, and Lex Luther aint out of the picture.
I ruined nothing.if that radically changed your idea of what was going to happen,you're thinking of the wrong film.
REVIEW: (who am i kidding,putting that in capitals does nothing to ensure i won't digress)
ok, film is pretty long, and some bits of it i find annoyingly purist (ie that kitty g/f of Luther's...who'd keep her around that long??!BUT!she was played by Parker Posey - YAY for parker posey! - as seen in 'A mighty wind'...and those other two ones...the dog show one and the musical one - IT'S A SATIRE PEOPLE!!)
BACK to the review, the actors were good, superman is...he resembles strangely everyone who ever played him (shockingly, as they were all almost covered in blue FYI superman wears his undies on the outside coz originally at one point superman wore no blue SUIT, but was PAINTED blue, and thus some sort of loin cloth was required, so BACK OFF the red undies!)
ummm...reporter girl...named...LOIS LANE (had to look it up) she wasnt as annoying as i'd thought..she was pretty good, and i like...also...the family members that appear...
AHEM!plotline...not exactly there, apart from typical ->bad guy has a plan, good guy goes to stop it,people get caught up in the crossfire. wahoo.
cinematography and special effects ...AND WHOEVER IT WAS creating the graphics of the galaxy - YAY FOR YOU!!VERY VERY COOL PEOPLE!!
script...non-annoying...i guess.
ending - i wasnt that attached to the dream, so it wasnt that important to me, but it was ok, tho left SEVERAL QUESTIONS unanswered...ok, certain conclusions were drawn,but no consequences were played out, which is STUPID.
however, i really enjoyed the experience, and could follow the story tho having previously cared nothing about the legend.
VERDICT...ummm...fun...three and a half stars.

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN, DEAD MAN'S CHEST
i don't care whether you say carRIBbean or carribBEan, it's an addictive phenomenon. may have something to do with the prescence of orlando bloom and johnny depp. i saw this with my darling Tom (1yr2mnthstoDAYYAYYAYAY)so it has nothing to do with those actors for me :D.
OH MY GOODNESS,HOW MANY laws of the universe of the first film were completely screwed around for this one!!???
seriously, don't expect logic. if they want something to happen in this film, it's gonna happen. no matter how DEAD anyone was.(DEAD!!)or totally readjusted in one, and suicidal in another.
ummm...oh, and completely cutesy thing:
GUY WHOSE NAME I CANT REMEMBER:Im looking for a Jack Sparrow
WILL &ELIZABETH:(jumping in so fast it's impossible,with an agression traditionally seen with lionesses for thwarters of their cubs)CAPTAIN!
(pause)
LIZ:CAPTAIN, jack sparrow.

ok, so i get that they have a few amused, perhaps fond memories of the unforgettable CAPTAIN jack sparrow,but they act like he personally saved their entire families from certain death, and would marry him themselves if time and circumstances permitted!!
please.
ok, storyline/plot/up-late drunken stream of thought->...ok, it's better than that makes it seem, ill admit. i could follow what people were doing, and the RANDOM situations people ended up in were VERY funny...laughed out loud a LOT in this one,stuff made sense for the most part.
BUT(and this is a very big but)WE ALL GOT ... EXPLOITED!IT IS A TRILOGY!IT IS TO BE CONTINUED!!!
ILLEGITIMATELY BORN PEOPLE WITH THE IQ OF A CHILD OF SEVEN!
how dare they?
anyway
johnny depp - did so well, loved it, great character, good for a proper laugh
keira knightley/elizabeth: (YES im going to blame keira for everything that's wrong with her character!) ok...not as annoying as last time, tho the opening scene is REALLY confusing.AND there's a scene where three guys are fighting and liz just stands and yells at them and throws rocks at them,like swordfighting used to seem logical to her but now she's totally disillusioned and it's all their fault.
AND ALSO - WHAT was up with the elizabeth+jack vibe??OH YES, they went there!it was interesting in the first one, and amusing, but in this one...no-one actually wanted that to happen. i blame ppl who decided...that certain characters should...interact...with certain other characters...to sell the film better.
anyway.
orlando bloom...should take himself less seriously more often.its really good when he doesnt.but when he swears promises and refers back to them...he's a little passionate...like he thinks he's the hero of this story, instead of the sidekick.
all in all, i really really liked it,i know it doesnt look it, but i subdued everything that made no sense in order to enjoy the film. i was very successful and had a great time,but it's all surfaced.
COOLER than superman returns,and takes itself less seriously,and way funnier, and for better reasons,BUT sold out and made a third that they did not release at the same time.
WOULD BE 4 STARS,but i get to put penalties. so 3 and a half for pirates. ha ha ha.

I'm the best reviewer in the world, i should be paid.
no, not you thomas, put the money down. buy me a cat.
no don't really
~love to the family, alî