Look in the eyes. It's the same expression...I became properly angry a few minutes ago, and did not enjoy it, i hated it, so much so that i became angrier.
It is of no consequence why i became angry, suffice to say that it was degree-related, but i think it is interesting that the sensation was so abhorrent and so violent, and i was quite surprised by it.
I realise that i am not typically an angry person. Passionate, yes, vocal - with a vengeance! But not angry - i was unable to think to myself that the situation had other layers, that there were reasons behind people's actions, that i should consider the possibility that an individual might be having problems - my mind would have none of it, i was furious at what had happened.
I really don't like that feeling. I can't think properly when it happens, and i can't do anything either. All i do while it remains is stand still, while a battle goes on within me to either poisonously curse those involved, and hold the furious heat close to me, or to let the feelings ebb and push them away.
I feel better at the moment, i am calm again, but it shook me up.
geh.
2 comments:
Jam 1:19-20
"My dear brothers [and sisters], take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore ... humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."
I don't want this to be a guilt trip for you; I just wanted to encourage you that hating anger is a step in the direction of putting it off completely. It shows that you have the righteousness of God in mind and that The Spirit of God working in your heart, planted and growing fruit to combat the old nature.
Don't enjoy your anger but be glad that you don't like it.
Oh, and don't read that as if I know it all, I am bussy putting it off, just like you.
P.S. For what it's worth, I think you have good reason to be upset...only read Romans 12 about revenge before burning the education department to the ground.
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