Reading of the day - 2 Peter 1:4-8...add to your faith goodness; and to goodness , knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control; perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Now i KNOW that it's way overquoted and that being glib is easy, but i copied it out for two reasons
a) read the wider bit. it's cool and important.
b) it portrays this whole journey! now this isn't like, the only way to see it, but something cool is that you have faith, then you add goodness, and desire good things, then you desire to know more about God with knowledge, but then instead of being all boastful of how much you know, you are humble and self-controlled about what you say, then you persevere in this, instead of being depressed by our nature to boast, then we pursue godliness as we seek to be like Him, then instead of being isolated from others, we reach out to them in brotherly kindness, and with this increased regard and care we serve others truly, thus loving them!
yay!
hey, i got excited.
OW!SNEEZING IS NOW PAINFUL!!! i got involved in a it's-earth-hour-how-do-we-kill-an-hour madness, and was in a push-ups competition. REAL PUSH-UPS. I DID MANY. NOW I HURT. ppl at work made me laugh, and were thus unkind.
Maybe i should change my butterfly fairy picture to something else, as my hair is now by no stretch of the imagination golden.
ok, the following spiel is probably directed more at the guys i know. or maybe more for their benefit. or just....i don't know. it's silly anyway coz few guys read this blog. to the others not concerned, please just keep what is said in mind. Tom would ask why i care about things that are said sometimes, when they are usually jokes, and even if not, why do i care what people think?
i care what people think. specific people. specific people whose opinions matter to me because they are my friends.
Despite people's impressions (and perhaps my own silliness), people do seem to think I am a witch. Which is to say, i am aware that i seem agressive and rise to the bait OFTEN (even when not baited), but i am getting a little fragile when it is insinuated that i have Tom whipped. even my sister thinks that, though she just thinks that coz she doesn't know how i'm different being 20, not 10. When i was 10 i was very manipulative.
But i would like to think that many of my friendships now are not based on manipulation, that in fact i have many friends who care about me, and know i care about them. that i am somewhat giving, and sympathetic, and that i try to help and listen to others. the operative word being TRY.
By extension, i think i am a similarly caring girlfriend. thus i am no tyrant, i DO NOT BEAT TOM UP, and that i do not think women=good men=bad.
in fact several times i have found myself unable to cope and my head in stupidland, and Tom has been there to pull me through and take the initiative, and lead me.
yeah, you heard me. Lead me. NO , i am not getting ready to pounce for marriage, NO i am not acting married, NO i am not making any sort of value statement as reagrds women and men in society...i don't think i'd be taken seriously in what i say.
Tom is often the strong one. i am blessed with him. i wish people would stop insinuating that i am heartless, cruel, hate him, and push him around...
i actually think he's the most wonderful boy...and i try to take such good care of him...
and i'm not angry and i know i should just laugh at the joke as it was meant but it hurts so much after a while, at some point, when it's such an in-joke, i start to take it seriously and get really worried about how i treat Tom. then i retreat into myself and am scared to do anything coz someone might say something.
Please, please stop saying i control him. please stop saying i beat him. please stop saying i dont listen to him and am cruel and heartless...it's not funny. it's really not funny.
Work was ok today, as i finally went in the right frame of mind, not leaning on my own capacity but trusting in God to sustain me. that doesn't mean that i didn't eat or anything, that would be contrary to the Bible making very clear that the eating process is important, but i didn't depend on myself to survive mentally, and cleared out a lot of the junk going on in my head. some weird stuff is seen at the shops, and sometimes i almost feel judgmental of the people i see, as though i were above them...as though i alone understood the right way to handle life...
But my vision is just as flawed, my heart just as prone to evil, my mind just as warped. Now i can see that better and love people better.
I know how to change a tyre!! i feel such a sense of increased safety on the road...though actually i never had a sense of danger...but no matter, it was a mystery before, but now i am FEARLESS!
till something else goes wrong.
AND i finished an assignment due THURSDAY!record for my uni life! don't worry, i still have 2 french compositions to do.
but i am a little cool.
love from nana
