Witness the awesome-ness of God...or simply His mercy to me...He's awesome for lots of reasons.

I taught kindy today :D

Maybe I should eat something...

Sigh.
Another day. at home. jumping when the phone rings. doing assignments that would be utterly finished in moments if i cared. listening to whatever jumps out of iTunes. wearing a dressing gown. quite comfy, but resenting it.

casual work. still tired after walking for HOURS school to school yesterday. apparently all the teachers in the area are in good health.

it wouldn't be so bad if I'd done just ONE DAY of work - been called, gone somewhere, taught someone something, been paid once.

because part of the qualification of teaching is the experience. i can't call myself a teacher, i haven't taught!

sigh.

Psalm 27. look it up. i will memorise it. i will make a song from it. i might do that now. wait... maybe i should eat something...

(lol i love symmetry)
love *a

Go to bed alison

lol, i just looked at the aye-aye again. i think they're awesome and not 'theoretically' so, as some commenters seemed to believe, but REALLY real!

I really should go to bed. I should be

but instead i'm
...woah, search wide awake in google images. crazy land.

I'm really tired of the present assignment, and it isn't going away like they normally do, and it's getting to me.
I know that coz my activity at youth group was not to standard. it's so so stupid, because God is so far in control of it i should not spend any time worrying, - i didn't even realise i had a problem and then suddenly there was an extension for my group (which i so needed)
-
It's just ...my last one really. then i become a real person (on a casual basis).
identity....

Oh, yes, i remember - it is very warm. suddenly it seems this seems to mean any girl should ditch her dignity and wear mainly a lack of clothing.

I shall not participate in this. I have a better understanding of the ramifications of this action now. As a 17 year old girl who understood sometime she looked vaguely ok, i did not consider that modesty affected people other than myself. And boys are sposed to like how girls look anyway, so i didn't care.

Now i understand more clearly that that's just unkind. Guys don't need to see excess of skin, and, i'll say it, cleavage. that image sticks, but it is unwelcome for most guys i am friends with. even my fiancé doesn't want to see it - because if i'm not his wife, he does't want to know about it. my other guy friends think similarly.

tv says if you're attracted to it, take it. but we know that you shouldn't take anything that isn't yours.

We should care. we should want to be kind to our guy friends, both with and without wives. we should give them a break, coz life is difficult enough with the media shoving women's bodies onto everything they want to sell in a way i am unsettled by.
It's too hot, don't give yourself heat exhaustion.
but with shorts, skirts and shirts, inches count. think about who sees you and what they have to see.

when it comes to faces, deal with it. i've been getting uglier all my life. you'll just have to be scarred.

to sleep, perchance to dream - but not about vampire weddings (if u wanna know, ask)
a*

Ah...I remember this...blogging at all hours of the night...the mindless satisfaction...

Ok,
if you recall my chinchilla post, which i believe was about how cool chinchillas look - get a load of this - an AYE-AYE!

HOW COOL IS IT? i first saw one on a video my prac class was watching (it climbed a branch, picked its nose and ate it. primary class. you can imagine)

The eyes are so coooool! i must have one!
The meaning of cute being ugly but interesting makes so much sense looking at this animal - check it out-

It's late, I've stayed up preparing a huge report eating reckless amounts of Lindt, and aye-ayes are the funniest thing in the world. here endeth the lesson.
xox *a

get wed!

First, i'd like to mention how much FUN Keating! was - thankyou, ABC2. guy who plays keating is very very cool :D props to the rap battle - question time should be like that!

Then i'd like to mention that it is 4 months and 19 days til my wedding. oh yes, we shall COUNT DOWN!

eh heh heh heh. bridey bridey bride.

if anyone's out there, they could get the party started by telling me what they think of the phrase 'love, honour and obey'
don't worry, you won't affect my marriage vows, i know what i will say and what tom will understand, but it'd be interesting to hear.

I'd also like to mention how many lovely people I saw at uni today WHILE I WAS IN A HURRY AND COULDN'T DAWDLE.
But it was lovely to see them briefly! Missed them greatly!

Furthermore, i get a headache when i move my head :(

ttyl!

FINE!HERE WE GO!!!

I have never been one to let go easily-
AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO START!
Let it die??? Go out with a bang??? How could this be contemplated??(go to matt's if you have NO IDEA what this is)
Blogging IS the hyperspace pensieve - when you have excess of anything and are lacking an audience (happens regrettably often), you either make your own tv show and rhapsodize J.D. style, or you go to your blog, and release your thoughts into the ether.
And when one's blog is a little slim, or one's readership seems in doubt, is this a reason to stop?
IT WASN'T EVEN A REASON TO START!
Which is not to say i don't love it when people read this, but one doesn't just write to be read, one writes to record.
You can't abandon this awesome place! Facebook is fun, but limited! Blogging is forever, or at least until the oil runs out.

Don't give up guys - the magic lives!
:D

in other news, i am ill, and teaching, and think tom is HOT stuff!
:D i felt the ether cringe.
mWA! a*

I had to tell you...

It has been a time of priceless quotes:

At a youth leaders' meeting:
Chris: is there a reason we can't use playdough?
murray:there's some up there i think?
dave:doesn't that tick the lame box?

and later -
murray: ok, so we're not doing memory verse
chris:i'm down with that
dave: jiggy.

and moments ago with my sister...

meredith:(objecting to a children's book that used rhyming nonsense words) No! it has to mean something! like in wizard of oz, when they say "oh..what'll you do if they come after you?" "I'll...kick 'em in the groin!" But it rhymes!'

that is all.
a*

Post with a purpose

GAH! NO-ONE POSTS ANYMORE EXCEPT KATE!!!!! GO KATE:D
heheh, i smiled while yelling. try THAT one.

THIS ENTRY SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE THE 11TH OF DECEMBER. SORRY. OH, AND BY THE WAY...

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
(sigh, i realise i've been waiting to scream and dance about this. who knew i needed to do it in hyperspace. maybe there i can jump higher...)
HELLO EVERYBODY AND WELCOME TO ALISON'S ENGAGED EXCITEMENT HAPPY JOY SONG!
(i recently came back from beach mission, i have been catching up on sleep, and i am well, though my left ear does not appear to be functioning as desired)

Tom proposed to me on the same bus route that he had asked me out on, in very nearly the same format he asked me out in, ie he used post-it notes to draw my attention to his train of thought, and then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

my ring is at the shop getting re-sized. i have thin fingers. i do hope it doesn't suffer.

it is so strange, so much needs to be done, and each time i have no idea how to do it, because i've never been engaged before, which is a common experience. engagement party looks to be the 19th of april...i think...
TOM AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED ON THE 10TH OF JANUARY NEXT YEAR!

I am very happy. life is obviously not perfect, as this world is covered in sin, and i still yearn more than anything for the return of my Saviour, and tom and i still get annoyed at each other from time to time (beach mission is a fatiguing place), but i am happy to be making this decision. i think i knew i was heading for it, knew it was in some sense likely, but now it's here it's quite startling.
while it is scary, i take time to reflect that it's not the wedding or the decorations that need to concern me - this is a decision to live with him, be with him, have him around permanently.
obviously that's not all marriage is, but it sounds quite nice.

he seems kinda happy too. :D

i've prayed that if this is God's will, it will happen, and if it isn't, it won't. tom and i have, only because of God's Holy Spirit, sought to make sure that our relationship is centred on God, and only in Him are we secure. that our combined lives will find meaning not in one another but in Him. that our love for one another is not in itself the key, but the love that flows from Him.

i've read in a christian book recently - once you're married, that man instantly becomes Mr Right.

i know tom isn't perfect, but i love him, and once we're married, i know and pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen me to keep loving him, for the rest of this life.

xa*

HaHaHAAAAAAAA!!!!

new, labor government!
old nasty cruel ruined desperate harmful government with THAT MAN (who may be a wonderful parent, but he wasn't hired for that) GONE!!!!!!!
might be able to respect my government for awhile - -GASP-!
..........................serene...................
-*a
ps yes, whatever, i know none will be perfect, but i don't care, just as long as the one which has caused me and so many so much pain is gone, with their horrible words that they made me hear over and over again.
*

me and another

Taking advantage of the FEW people who check blogs anymore (facebook is fun, but it is no excuse not to check blogs!!!...although i hadn't checked several for some time before a few minutes ago) i will post about...
relationships.
go on, swap blogs now, this is probably EXACTLY the sort of blog you would rather avoid, yes, i am talking boy-girl relationships which are not limited to friendship.

sigh.

i said i was taking advantage of the ppl who still check, sorry people, it's not your fault, it's just the odd mood i am in, as a result of the chocolate i just finished, the assignment i haven't finished, and the french pop i am listening to.

i just want to express something.
nothing terribly remarkable, and i will take EVERY precaution possible to edit out mush.

first, i must say, they take work like you never see in disney movies. they take real work and sacrifice and ...giving up of things. i know you know this, but this is me expressing, not educating. but i just find it odd that in a relationship of this category i have to confront so many things about myself i somehow never came across in my other relationships.
or perhaps, not to this degree. some things about myself (selfishness, manipulation, self-righteousness, grudging, vengefulness) have shown themselves to a degree, esp when i was little, and no doubt some of my friends have some idea of them.

but i am older now and spend much less time with my family than i did when i was 10, and now it is surprising to come face-to-face with yourself, or yourself reflected in someone else's eyes.
not that tom tells me things about myself the whole time, along with my other brothers in Christ he supports me and rebukes me, but it's when i see the results of my less godly actions, that confrontation of self and selfishness happen. my friends see my actions, but i think we make more of an effort with friends than people that are around the way a boyfriend might be. and what is more, a friend will not have quite the same reactions a...(insert appropriate noun here) might - if i'm being stupid and unkind, friends will see, be sad, but live on. tom of course will live on, but i could hurt him in a way that hurts me very much.

there is no requisite here to make sense.

another thing that is making its impression in my head is how emotions are made into idols in the world, in relationships, and yet so often they are what needs to be cast off. i am so often subject to wanting to be angry, wanting to be all...clingy, and in my head it makes sense, i can perfectly reason it out, but i know it to be selfishness, not allowing into my heart the knowledge that being right or being angry does not mean you have the solution, or deserve to be obeyed, and that feeling clingy doesn't mean you own someone, that you have God, who is yours, and you are His, and anyone else is not yours, and you cannot make them so.

don't freak out, i'm not talking about stuff i need to work through with tom, i'm just thinking electronically.

in short, the world doesn't have a clue what love looks like. the ultimate expression of love was someone DYING and giving, not someone recieving chocolate, jewellery, or having someone else follow them around doing whatever they say.

and it can be hard when the world TRAINS you to act how it wants you to. TRAINS you to try and take whatever you can, and not let go, except to take more.

yeah. one thing i am learning is to give up what i want for a person, for what they want. it's easier with Jesus (though not 'easy' in itself) because He is perfect and i can trust Him...mostly, and i know that He has a plan which is perfect, and He is in control. but giving up things for another, imperfect person, who might not deserve it, who might not be stunning like in the movies, who might be as real and flawed and annoying as me, who is as lost as me?
dude. not easy.
but an important step is, to paraphrase tom (who i'm pretty sure was paraphrasing God) to remember that we are all sinful, and are all forgiven before God.
deep, man. deep.
xa

Actually, ew, no, THIS is how i look:

Ok, i have TOTALLY done my homework already. Kinda

Free California Dating

eheheheheh.

I Scored a 100%!

Meet California Singles

ohohohohohoh

so how's it going?
i would like to register my annoyance at trilogies where the first story ends properly, and the second simply ends with '....yeah, read the next book, i couldn't be stuffed writing THREE endings!!!'
gah.
annoying, especially when you really really really wanted an ending...and a good one.

i had a party.

i am now very rich and much prettier.

heheheh.

i look like this



Kidding!


ttfn.

Can I be forgiven?

I have joined facebook...

100....?

According to the system, this is my 100th post.
feels like my 1000th.
anyway,
it is me, again, speaking, and so on.


the photo makes me laugh, and so shall it make you laugh.
sigh...sad state of affairs when what looks like tom's murderous tendancies are all that can amuse me.
like today - brett was ranting, and i felt so much better once he had.
OH! OH!
AWKWARD TURTLE!!!!
made with turtle hand gesture. go forth and spread it - i love the awkward turtle!

and the moon turned a different colour. big whoop (LOL AHHH...MAKING PEOPLE ANGRY.... :D)
i think i need more hugs. i hereby give my decree that i need more hugs.
probably from girls tho...guy hugs are too political (heeehee, follow that line of thought!)
anyone got any good ideas for a memory verse youth group game? - high school ag, i know, its old for a memory verse, but it's worked well so far.

danke shön,
her imperial majesty, alison janet

this is Rory, the Royal Persian Angora Chinchilla. How cute is he?!

MYC HIGH-FIVE!!!

teeheehee, aren't we beautiful people...
oh shut up - you smell.
lol. It rocked, it went too fast, and it encouraged me a great deal, as well as providing me with even MORE friends!!!!
love it.
-a

Dizzy

I have the flu. I hate the flu. Everything looks like this, and i'm too heavy, and i'm overheated, and i can't breathe through my throat, and my stomach likes to keep me guessing - does it hurt because i only ate a little, or does it hurt because i ate?
not to mention the immense amount of frustration i get from...everything.
gggrrr.
a.

TOM POSTED ON HIS BLOG!

Seriously. That's all i'm here to say.
Oh, and i'm feeling a lot better, i've been better informed about degree stuff, and i had my last ever french exam today, and it wasn't a total catastrophe.
See, i even found you all a calming soothing picture to show you how calm and soothed i am!
Hugs for all, sparkle*

OOOOOooooooo.....That was not pleasant

Look in the eyes. It's the same expression...
I became properly angry a few minutes ago, and did not enjoy it, i hated it, so much so that i became angrier.
It is of no consequence why i became angry, suffice to say that it was degree-related, but i think it is interesting that the sensation was so abhorrent and so violent, and i was quite surprised by it.
I realise that i am not typically an angry person. Passionate, yes, vocal - with a vengeance! But not angry - i was unable to think to myself that the situation had other layers, that there were reasons behind people's actions, that i should consider the possibility that an individual might be having problems - my mind would have none of it, i was furious at what had happened.

I really don't like that feeling. I can't think properly when it happens, and i can't do anything either. All i do while it remains is stand still, while a battle goes on within me to either poisonously curse those involved, and hold the furious heat close to me, or to let the feelings ebb and push them away.

I feel better at the moment, i am calm again, but it shook me up.
geh.

Oh no you DIDN'T!

WHAT IS GOING ON?????
School of Education ppl at uni have COMPLETELY ALTERED REQUISITES FOR MY COURSE!
A MASSIVE amount of my units may have been rendered useless because someone doesn't want them to count!
YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO SOMEONE MID-DEGREE! I'M GOING TO BE AT UNI FOREVER!

ooooooooooooohhhh striking wrath of alison will be outpoured.
unless of course they say my french units count. then i'll only have to redo maths. which is still nasty, but not as bad as 2 1/2 yrs of my life going up in smoke. just maths is better. Plus today is 25 months with Tom.